i got carried away.

i got carried away trying to be something that was a bad idea in the first place. i tied things down to the surrounding circumstances a bit much, thinking if i could only replicate them, everything else would follow in suit. it's not true, it only made the things i want further away, and much more apparently so. don't tell anyone, but sometimes when i know someone really wants me to succeed, i secretly hope to fail, only to disappoint them. just to see their hopes fail. just to prove this world is not a fairy tale and good things don't always happen if you only want them to. this is how happy i am.