i don't care what anybody says

there is an objective reality, and it mostly sucks. why did you make those decisions you made? they changed your life. it's a safe bet to say you have issues, maybe serious ones. you probably couldn't even know it if you wanted to. it's sad when you look around and could pick any person at random and imagine a past for them that would lead to them being great, by anyone's standards. because they're not. so, why do miserable people go on living when they don't enjoy it? because it's easier. living is easier than dying when you are perfectly healthy, there's always the possibility of surviving any attempts at self inflicted death. no matter how miserable a person is, they probably don't want to be miserable and paralized. then they're just fucked. the irony is if they were unhealthy, it would probably give them some sort of motivation to persevere. either way it's tiny pointless goals. take those away and you're just a monkey on a rock, scratching his ass, looking at things, maybe wondering why.