going postal with a fear of brides.

not getting much happier and not doing much about it. when a path to happiness presents itself, i look down the path to consider it. then i close my eyes, spin myself around in a circle until i fall to the ground, get up and walk in whatever direction i am facing. some people may call this stupid. i call it faith. some might say, faith in what, you're agnostic. agnosticism is much too indecisive to contain room for such uncertain concepts. blind faith is a beautiful thing, i argue. whatever you believe. and we all believe in something. for the gamblers and number crunchers out there, it might be just as good as an educated decision. in the end our lives are all we know, and what we use to compare and judge those lives against is our decision. we decide how we view our life, however mundane or shitty it is. we decide if it is of value. but if everything in our life is telling us it isn't or could be better, who are we to argue? who are we to tell ourselves they are wrong. after all, they are many voices and contentedness seems so hard to maintain.. maybe they are right. ok, i'll buy your pills. thanks.