the difference is this.

when people look uninterested in what you are saying, you keep talking. i stop. everyone says i'm quiet.

an alien world is just around the corner (good morning)

the drugs tasted better once we realized they would run out. even better after they were gone. the lies we tell ourselves these days don't measure up to the ones we told that morning. when the sun woke us up because we didn't bother closing the blinds. even if all the birds could see in, we didn't mind sharing what we were doing with the birds and other strangers. you even wanted to do it outside, on the balcony. you asked for it. i was more modest then. but only at that moment, i can't recall why exactly. those days seemed sluggish and warm, along with the lies we told each other. something about how it wouldn't change. now the days seem harsh and sharp and i can't remember who i was then. but it felt like something better.