bite on rocks: teeth shatter, bite your tongue: thoughts shatter.

they're good people, it's just that other people annoy me. i hate other people. i would never tell them to their face, but they think it too. i can tell by how they look at me sometimes. they hate me. we're just suffering each other together.

discovery

i will never be happy the way i want to be.

find a fuck.

in a world where you could pretty much always find a fuck if you truly desperately wanted. more often it seems you end up rubbing one out in a dark room alone.

walk around the complex.

going out in the world is disturbing. people are annoying, navigation is frustrating. interact only when completely necessary. otherwise you become one of them. ignorant of your own flaws and obnoxious existence.

fill up with empty stupid thoughts.

something was missing; they took it. it was life. they're still taking it everywhere they go. nothing can be done. it's constantly leaving us at every turn.

the future of life depends on us: doom

as a child life didn't need meaning, just watching cartoons and playing video games was enough. friends weren't even entirely necessary. parents and school pretty much forced them on us, to avoid complete boredom and dissatisfaction with one's social standing. today i can't stand these routines. the ones i do, the ones i see others do around me, seemingly unaware.. everything we do is just sucking the life out of us and there's nothing we can do to stop it. we're doomed. space is our only chance at escape.

on the road

she got it, but never really finished it.

i finished it, but never really got it.

she did it with only the half finished idea.

when you're at your lowest, they will leave you.

when we finally get there all we want are those same old moments back, but they're gone. the future of life is reflecting and forgetting. when god is in your head, life's just more tolerable. closed off and vacant to the natural world.