hope for whatever you can.

if things are really falling apart, let's make it the most glorious fall. let us glisten and float in the sunlight before we crumple into the ground. perhaps someone will bear witness before it ends. maybe they'll think something nice.

to arrive efficiently at where you want to be

1. start going in the right direction.
2. continue going in the right direction.
3. stop when you arrive.

there reaches a point where success is only buying into your own bullshit.

forgetting to eat again.

i don't want to design anything for anyone but myself.

I always think I'll love something more.

if we think about it too long it will destroy us.

somebody has to be nobody.

everything's mission is it's own destruction.

it's been so long now.

i feel like i've always been on the verge of a nervous breakdown. but it can't be true. looking back now, it just seems normal.

you make me think these things and it's hard.

i've told so many girls i loved them, but i never meant it as much.

a perfect moment

everything has come together and everything is for a reason. life jumping out at you. we're under blankets smiling.

i wish i could see the humor in things once again.

ha.

wincing a life away

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it's funny

I can't remember the last time I really laughed out loud.

salesmen

a great salesman is an expert at buying into his own bullshit. it's a skilled trade.

oh shit.

i don't think it was shit, it didn't smell anything like shit.

rebirth

i wanted to think that everything about her would die without me and in a way it did. but not in the way i wanted.

not acknowledging happiness, for fear that it will abruptly end.

why does it have to be over; why did it have to end. it was so nice. remember the reading tree, the one we used to sit beneath while the summer sun declined. just to enjoy life together. it used to be so easy. these things are gone now and all i can do is hope that when i sleep, my dreams will do them justice.

i got carried away.

i got carried away trying to be something that was a bad idea in the first place. i tied things down to the surrounding circumstances a bit much, thinking if i could only replicate them, everything else would follow in suit. it's not true, it only made the things i want further away, and much more apparently so. don't tell anyone, but sometimes when i know someone really wants me to succeed, i secretly hope to fail, only to disappoint them. just to see their hopes fail. just to prove this world is not a fairy tale and good things don't always happen if you only want them to. this is how happy i am.

i'm only going to say this once and without explanation.

you should never put a great deal of trust in someone who has the potential to let you down. everyone has the potential to let you down.