church on sundays

we go to church every sunday. almost every sunday. sometimes we are out of town. sometimes if we are out of town we go to a different church. either way they say the same kinds of things, as they are the same kind of church. we all need to try to be better people. none of us are very good at being good, or at humility. after all, you've been a jerk to too many people already. when you go to the same one all the time you get familiar with things, with the people and how they act and what they're about. the pastor gets very enthusiastic and desperate sounding, the first time i heard him it really got my attention. after about 3 visits of identically enthusiastic and desperate sermons i realized that's just how he does it, like an actor who only knows one role. they focus on what they want and skim over the things they feel less relevant, but of course you could read it all for yourself and see what it says with exact clarity. though, they always say the same kinds of things. we all need to try to be better, and we need to make him the most important thing in our lives. they always talk about it like it's a difficult sacrifice we're all making, without sacrificing too much. sometimes i wonder if they really believed all the things they do, would they keep living like they do. but maybe devoting a day out of the week to think about it is enough of a sacrifice. giving up anything else would turn into self deprivation.