that month when i was sick, i think i had mono or something, that took a lot out of me. i could have gotten my life organized otherwise, perhaps.

the only direction we can move is forward. it makes one wonder what all the fussing is about. things are different already, we should see this. it doesn't mean improvement, it doesn't mean more understanding, or smarter, it just means no going back. not in any true sense. we're stuck on this conveyer belt away from what we know and love. if you don't go along with it, it will just drag you along anyways. the happiest people i've met still complain about things. maybe i haven't met anyone who's that happy, or maybe even happiness has its problems. people are always full of advice for the lives of others, especially when they have no answers for themselves. it's easy to be objective and point fingers from the outside. let's not go to bed, let's open some wounds; there are certain people, certain moments, certain memories, that although they're gone, you don't want to get over. it's time to have kids and start focusing on someone else for a change.