Dr. Phil is a cucumber in the shape of the virgin mary

i never thought i could be this happy. i can't remember ever thinking this, though i might have. if so, i wouldn't ever know how to say it again, and really mean it. they talk like they're excited about life, and maybe they are going places. so, you're not very successful? they'd think to themselves after asking what i do. no i'm not. perhaps success is not a priority of mine. perhaps there's a better priority to have. what could be a better priority in life than success, they might think out loud. i don't know, but i'm trying quite hard to find one. not that it matters. life is just a bunch of shitty justifications anyways. any reason you could list of why you're alive could probably fall under this category. i don't know why i tell the truth sometimes, often i feel i'm more truthful than most. i'm not that honest. this is a quest, this is a search for meaning, for reason, for doing something that doesn't make me want to stay in bed every morning. a quest to live a life not merely tolerated, but enjoyed and understood. this is impossible. this is what we are up against.