Thursday, January 19, 2006
i tried to sleep alone, but i couldn't do it.
the things that make them all happy would just make me miserable, i just know it. nothing to learn from or grow on. just reaching, blind. without the intelligence or inspiration to achieve anything other than lazy existence. i'd like to believe i'm making everyone's life better. the way a teacher does and then leaves them to do better things. like some self righteous hero parting into a sunset after the world he knows is dead and cold, i'll leave you all behind. it's only a matter of time.
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it was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. it now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning. -camus
you remind me of meursault from the stranger.
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